Phases

The phases of interest with ADHD

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Recently I was looking through some ideas I’d jotted down for this Substack when I first started writing on here—and upon revisiting them, found that none appealed. I was surprised how quickly I’ve changed when I’ve only been writing on here for a few months.

In a recent post I referenced Jordan Peterson’s book, 12 Rules for Life. One of the things he said in that book that struck a chord with me is that we often hold ourselves to decisions we made when we were little more than a child. As I approach my thirties I no longer want what I did when I was thirteen. I find myself looking back over old lists of goals and aspirations thinking ‘I don’t really want that anymore.’

You’ve probably heard of skin cycling, but if you have ADHD like me then you’re probably well acquainted with ‘skill cycling’ (or ‘hobby/interest cycling’). Typically every few months I will find a new ‘thing’ and I will probably keep researching and talking about that thing until the next thing comes along. And so on and so on…

I have a tendency towards interests that are somewhat unique or random, such as rare and vulnerable native dog breeds, the Romantic poets and endangered species of British sheep. As a more recent example, I’ve been super into the idea of dog-sledding, a rather rare and unusual dog sport here in Australia but an increasingly popular one. That led to an interest in Artic dog breeds, especially Siberian Huskies, which led to nearly buying a trained sled dog… (I’m not joking!). Much to the gratefulness of my husband, dog-sledding is off the cards for now, primarily due to lack of time and finances, as well as health constraints… but only for now 😁.

From childhood until my mid-twenties I was really into horses and even had two of my own for a short time. Dog breed phases I’ve had include Greyhounds, Whippets and Miniature Dachshunds. At the moment I’m still in my Italian Greyhound era, thanks to the surreal cuteness of Tika the Iggy, although no doubt one day another new breed will come along and knock poor Tika off her pedestal. (I do have a dog of my own so I know how much work goes into owning one!). Other phases I've been through include Beatrix Potter, the Bronte’s, line-dancing and acoustic guitar, amoungst others.

Recently I realized I tend to cycle through my interests and hobbies, rather quickly most of the time—some of my interests have lasted years, whereas others last only a few days or weeks. But even if an interest lasts a few months or years there inevitably comes a point when my interest wanes and I realize I’d rather be doing something else. I suspect we all go through phases, but those of us with ADHD probably cycle through them quicker than most.

I saw something on Substack Notes the other day that was scarily accurate: (thanks to

Kelly

,

The Dopamine Dispatch

):

I’m not into the things above, but it got me thinking about all the different phases I’ve cycled through in my life. At the moment I’m somewhat interested in bullet journaling, but I’m not going to go and buy special supplies when I know it’s probably just a phase that will be over soon. Something I’ve noticed, thanks to my daily journalling practice, is how often I mention new things I’m interested in. Looking back over past and current journals is revealing, because it helps me see that most of my phases don't last long.

And even the ones that do, my interest tends to shift and change over time. I’ve had some interests (or phases) since I was a young child, and I don’t expect these to be things I lose interest in anytime soon. But it's still interesting to note that my interest in a particular thing does not stay static over an extended period of time—it ebbs and flows, dies down and comes back around again. At the moment I’m training to be a counsellor because my interest in counselling isn’t just a phase; it’s stayed with me for a few years and I know it has the potential to hold my interest for a lifetime—there’s so many interesting new things to learn!

As sung in the song Phases by the band Keane, phases truly are “the motion of our lives”. There’s nothing wrong with going through phases if you have the time, money, and energy to pursue them. But most of us have to be more constrained, whether due to finances, health or simply time constraints. That isn’t to say you shouldn’t follow your dreams or pursue your passions—but you do need to be realistic about the amount of time, energy, and money you have at your disposal. Even so, phases help us to grow and change into who we are becoming; we wouldn’t be who we are without the phases we’ve been through.

The curse of ADHD is in thinking that this hobby is different, this interest is different, this time this thing will last, when you know perfectly well it isn’t true. To quote Phases: “And sometimes, you feel how good it is, [but] low tide gives way to high tide… And hard times, we watch them come and go, like crazes, it's all just phases.”

the band Keane

I think the nice thing about ‘skill cycling’ is that you can take whatever skills or knowledge you’ve learned from one phase and take it onto the next, effectively creating a rolling CV of skills, knowledge, interests and experience that have all taught you something, even if you didn’t stick with them long-term. Becoming self-aware and observant of your phases can also help you learn more about yourself and know when a phase is likely to last or not.

Also, think about the stories and narratives you tell yourself and what typically turns out to be true (for example: “scrapbooking/snowboarding/gourmet cooking will change my life!” when in reality you have little time or patience for it). You can learn from your observations and take your newly-acquired skills and knowledge into the next phase. To quote Keane again: “We salvage the parts we can, and work on a better plan… Dreaming of a better life, take what you can; just got to take what you can.”

Fr those of us with ADHD, our phases are partly what makes us interesting—we’re curious human beings with multi-passionate hearts and brains that don't do well boxed in in traditional society. Let’s appreciate the phases we go through and the things that, though we may not stick to for life, nonetheless entertain, inform, and inspire us, even if momentarily or temporarily.

Because anyway, “It’s all just phases.”