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Laura Avery's avatar

I’m glad you’re fighting for your voice, even through writing here! Someone close to me was in a similar family situation, and it was only when I started highlighting was was and wasn’t normal that they started to integrate what the family dynamic really was! I think one way to see you’re in a dysfunctional family is if you are a people pleaser, because you’ve learn to adapt to not “rock the boat” like you said. Of course this wouldn’t be the only trait, but that is what I’ve experienced!

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Jessica Alice's avatar

Oh yes, people-pleasing can definitely be a red flag of a dysfunctional family dynamic, but I'm not sure that is always the case. Thank you for your comment and stay tuned for part 2!

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Laura Avery's avatar

oh I’m not saying it always is for sure, life is a lot more nuanced than that. But it can definitely be a common response to dysfunction from what Ive experienced! looking forward to part 2 :)

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Jessica Alice's avatar

Part 2 has been in the works for a while!! But you might have just motivated me to get it out there soon ;)

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Nicole's avatar

I’ve had to make the difficult choice to go no contact with most of my relatives. My life is so much more peaceful. I appreciate your sharing your experience.

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Jessica Alice's avatar

Well done for putting your mental and emotional needs first 👏🏻 I'm also no-contact with one family member and low-contact with others.

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LakoooAtHome's avatar

Thank you for speaking about dynamics that are so often hidden because victims of abuse blame themselves--generally because of the gaslighting and verbal/emotional abuse you describe. I appreciate your labour in helping me to better understand, and I will try to use this understanding to be a better ally.

You're going to be such a good therapist, both because of your lived experience and because of the wisdom you have acquired through your education and self work.

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Jessica Alice's avatar

Thank you so much for your kind words 😊 it is much appreciated x

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Jones Beach's avatar

This sounds exhausting and I'm sorry you had to experience these abusive dynamics with your family! I hope your post does a part in lifting the veil for someone else who needs it.

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Jessica Alice's avatar

Thank you, I hope so too :) thanks for commenting!

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Autistic Ang's avatar

So good! You’re bringing light to something so many experience but rarely talk about - how family dysfunction can silence us in ways we don’t even realize. Your breakdown of gaslighting, triangulation, and smear campaigns is so spot-on. Also, what a cool connection with losing your voice in a dysfunctional family, kind of like Ariel in The Little Mermaid. Great metaphor. Finding your voice again through writing feels like an act of defiance and healing. Thank you for sharing.

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Jessica Alice's avatar

"an act of defiance and healing" - wow, that really resonates with me. So glad you enjoyed. Thank you for commenting!

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Oct 14
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Jessica Alice's avatar

Thank you ♥️

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