[FREE] I don't want fame and fortune, I just want a friend

Why I don't want to make it big on Substack // Digital Minimalism Diaries #12

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The latest step in my digital minimalism journey is realizing that I don’t want to make it big on Substack. This seems like an inevitable conclusion, considering my history of dalliances with social media, Luddite tendencies and the fact that I didn’t even own a smartphone until I was 22 (true story!). But in truth it’s taken me a while to admit this, even to myself. We’re all sold the idea that making it big on social media and making a living from it is the dream — but what if it isn’t?

A decade or so ago I wrote a guest post for a now-defunct blog called And Then We Saved. My post was called Why I Ditched Social Media (And Never Looked Back); in that post I wrote:

Lately there’s been a shift toward ‘digital minimalism’ — cleaning out your inbox, spending less time swooning at Instagram-worthy pictures and streamlining your online presence. Most of us have a social media account, but choosing not to do so will put you on a path to rediscovering the value of your time…

Rediscovering the value of your time is a major benefit of digital minimalism. I’m so much more aware now of the hours and minutes I spend scrolling. I’m aware that those hours and minutes make up the sum total of my life; therefore, I’m scrolling my life away (morbid, but true). How can we make sure we are ‘redeeming the time’, as the Bible says, and making the best use of it? Certainly not by scrolling our lives away.

One of my issues is that, as someone who is neurodivergent and recovering from burnout, I want and need to use social media if I am to connect with likeminded people and share my story. Substack seems the perfect way to do this, as I am much more succinct in writing and don’t want the hassle of YouTube. But in reality, I come across another conundrum: that of wanting to be found online and paid for my writing, but of not wanting to ‘make it big’. Or as

milk and cookies

put it:

I am seeing this with Substack already. I can’t scroll for five seconds without coming across some politically-charged rant. As Substack grows in popularity and becomes more mainstream, not only is there more “social media toxicity” but also a greater possibility of being ‘discovered’. But I’ve realized I don’t want that. I want both Substack and my own Substack to remain small — and safe.

From 'The Vicar of Dibley’

I find marketing my Substack and ‘building a brand’ hard because I want my Substack to be a shared space of authenticity and unmasking, not another box or persona I have to fit myself into. Marketing has its place, yes, but I didn’t come here to ‘build an audience’ or to make myself into a brand. I came here to be me. And I think you came here to be you, too.

Although I offer paid subscription options for people who want to support me and my writing, I don’t necessarily want hundreds of thousands of subscribers or to make a business out of my blog. I would rather engage with my existing audience than chase more subscribers. One way I’ll be doing that is by going deeper on the topics you really want to hear about: burnout, low-demand living, life as a childfree woman approaching my 30’s, and more.

I admire the Substackers who are out there attracting sponsorships and paywalling their posts in the name of ‘converting’ subscribers, but that’s not me. I wouldn’t be being genuine or true to myself if I did that. I’m not seeking Substack fame or trying to make a fortune — as Geraldine Granger says to her friend Alice in an episode of The Vicar of Dibley, “Why would anyone be stupid enough to want fame and fortune, when you can look at the stars with a friend by your side?”

Perhaps I am simply fortunate in that I am intrinsically motivated (as

Amy Roberts

so eloquently describes) and I am known and loved already — I don’t really care about status or the spotlight, I don’t need to make six figures on Substack and I have a loving husband and a relationship in which I feel very ‘seen’. I don’t need tens of thousands of followers or hundreds of people liking my posts to feel validated. I want an honest friendship, not a fanbase or a fortune.

Call me lame, but I would rather cultivate friendship with my readers than become a Substack celebrity. Thinking more about marketing and building a brand has made me realize what I truly want from this platform: not more likes or a fanbase of followers I don’t know, but a community of likeminded people having important conversations and making genuine connections. If you want that too, consider upgrading to a paid subscription (which enables me to spend more writing):

“Why would anyone be stupid enough to want fame and fortune, when you can look at the stars with a friend by your side?” — The Vicar of Dibley, ‘Celebrity Vicar’