Can we please go back to 90's/2000's fashion?
Neurodivergent style lessons from the noughties
I’ve been thinking a lot about fashion lately, which is a funny thing for me to say considering I am not at all ‘fashionable’. I have never seemed to know quite what to wear that is both flattering and practical. At certain times in my life I’ve been better at balancing the two—when I have more headspace (i.e. fewer demands) I actually quite enjoy playing around with fashion. But during times of stress it’s literally the last thing I want to think about.
I mentioned in my posts on burnout recovery (which you can read here and here) that I wanted to take more pride in my appearance. This is a slow and ongoing process. Five or six years ago I regularly wore makeup, traipsed around in dresses and short boots, and actually styled my hair. Then burnout happened, and a lot of other stress, and I couldn’t do more than wear old clothes and throw my hair up. The last couple of years I’ve been trying to get my mojo back, which for me includes developing a new sense of style, discovering what suits me and what I actually like to wear.
I was born in the late 90’s which puts me squarely in the generation of people who remember low-rise jeans, halter crop tops and shiny everything as ‘fashionable’. Who remembers the Spice Girls, Sugababes or Girls Aloud? Even though I didn’t follow fashion magazines or keep up to date with what celebrities were wearing, I distinctly remember being aware of noughties fashions and liking wearing them as a kid.
In the 90’s and 2000s we wore what we wanted and got away with it. So many people are nostalgic for a simpler time, but maybe fashion is an overlooked part of that. In the noughties we put together the most hideous outfits and people thought we were ‘trendy’. We pulled off matching velour tracksuits (or so we thought) or simply wore jeans and a nice top. And if you didn’t want your outfit to match, it didn’t have to. Sequins, bangles, a choker and a bob cut? Velvet tracksuit and cardigan? If it’s cute, comfortable and could’ve been thrown together in seconds, you’re fine. We thought we were being fashionable, but the truth is that none of us were—and it didn’t matter.
One of my struggles with modern fashion is striking a balance between body shape, functionality, colour, style preferences, and comfort. It seems almost impossible to find an item that ticks all of these boxes and is good quality, made to last. But in the noughties we didn’t tick all those boxes—sometimes we sacrificed style for comfort (or vice versa), things didn’t suit us but we either didn’t know or didn’t care; outfits were a mish-mash of what we liked and what was available to us, often hand-me-downs. But since the rise of social media we’ve become obsessed about what we’re wearing, probably because it’s easier to scrutinize and compare outfits online. She’s wearing it better—but does anybody really care?
As someone who is autistic and ADHD comfort comes first when it comes to clothing, but I also desperately want to fit in. My preference for comfort means you will often see me dressed in layers comprised of basics I can easily move around in, but since I already stick out like a sore thumb in certain social situations, wearing what is comfortable doesn’t usually help. Always the outsider, I am made more of an outsider by the fact that I don’t look good in what everyone else is wearing (I’m tall with red hair, so proportion and colour matter more) and I’m not willing to wear certain things due to sensory sensitivities. I’ve had to find my own sense of style and fashion, which helps me feel more myself but can also make me seem even more ‘weird’.
Trying to look like everyone else detracts from looking and feeling like me. I can copy someone else’s style, but as
pointed out here, looking a certain way won’t give us a sense of self—the whole point of a strong sense of self is knowing what you like and how you like to wear it. She wrote:At the end of the day clothes are clothes. They cannot in and of themselves give me a strong sense of self… the only way I can really develop sustainable and fulfilling style is by getting to know myself. And the only way I can get to know myself is working out what I need, what I like, what feels good to me, and pay attention when these things inevitably change over time.
One of the things I miss about noughties fashion was that we took what we liked about what was on-trend and made it ours. We experimented, mixed colours and prints and most importantly, had fun. Maybe it’s because I’m approaching my thirties, but I really feel like we have a lot to learn from noughties fashion.
We too can experiment, on our own or with fashion challenges such as Project 333, to discover what we really like to wear. I’ve come to the conclusion that what I like to wear doesn’t necessarily suit me—but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t wear it. Maybe it suits my personality, which is perhaps more important. When I had really short hair a few people said it suited my personality but not my looks. Thanks, I guess?! I never knew how to take that backhanded compliment, but maybe it doesn’t matter if something suits me so long as I like it. I’m the one who has to wear the shoes, the clothes, the jewellery, the accessories, the hairstyle—so I have to be happy with it.
Obviously we don’t want to wear something deliberately inappropriate or offensive. But maybe the main fashion lesson from the noughties is to simply have fun with it—to continually experiment and mix things up, to mash together what we like into one outfit or disregard the fashion ‘rules’ to make our own. Like Charlie wrote, we need:
a short list of unique parameters that I need from my clothes… I thought about what I needed from my clothes, and whether the item fulfilled them. I felt the fabric and decided if it would feel good on my skin. I checked the shape and the cut to see if it would give me room to move freely.
I’m experimenting with wearing what looks and feels good to me, and I encourage you to do the same.
Let’s not squash our beautiful unique sense of style just because it doesn’t match neurotypical expectations. You can dress loudly, wear colour boldly and combine styles into an outfit you love. You don’t need to subscribe to an aesthetic or a ‘core’—not even Y2K. You can wear what you want, something that when you look in the mirror makes you feel like you.
And if you need inspiration, look no further than
’ video below on making Pinterest-worthy outfits from what is already in our wardrobes. She does a great job of showing that it’s possible to create a cohesive look from lots of different items that don’t seem to work together until they’re styled correctly. You might also like this video of what she wore as a runaway bride.
That said, if you do want to take inspiration from the noughties, think:
Bold, playful, metallic
Low-rise jeans with a crop top
Slip dresses or halternecks
Mini skirts with sneakers
Soft tracksuits (preferably with a matching hooded cardigan)
T-shirts with logos
Butterfly clips in your hair
Large hoop earrings
As
says in her post Forever 90s, it’s all about “high waisted jeans, stripy t-shirts, leather trousers, slip dresses, ankle boots, etc. A fashion decade full of basics.” Maybe that’s why noughties fashion is making a comeback—you can do a lot with a few basics. But I also see the value in an outfit full of statement pieces, each of them individually speaking something to you, and somehow making it work all together. If that’s more your style then don’t be apologetic! You’re the one wearing it.Let’s get out there and unmask through our sense of style. Let’s accommodate our needs and sensory sensitivities, as well as our style preferences. What do you like to wear? I’d love to know in the comments. If you’re still figuring it out (like I am), I’d love to know any realizations you’ve had about your style. Til next time, J x
Thank you so much for your mention! Absolutely love reading your post! xx